You're fired: Dead Weight Jenny, for being arrogantly annoying I think. Her main regret? She wished she'd been on manure.
Sweepstake £2 down: Sorry Puja.
Lucky escape: Joseph Valente's moustache survives to mystify another day, but if the boys hadn't won, it would clearly have been the metaphorical guillotine for JV after the merde show he 'managed'.
Parlez-vous Français? Sam's A-Level French taught him one phrase, "c'est bon", which he trotted out regardless of how "bon" things were (usually, pas très bon). Joseph still required translation every single time.
Sexism *and* xenophobia-watch: Bonus double whammy with Joseph's observation that the only advantage the girls' team had in negotiation was that "they're all pretty laydeez" which "might sway the odd French man". (Let's just quickly gloss over how he was immediately proved right about the French man bit...)
Two beautiful displays of stupidity in the first five minutes:
1. Elle's guess that Dover was the best port for which foreign destination...? That would be Ireland.
2. Richard was convinced that Lady Brady's line "Richard and his seven assistants" last week was a compliment, rather than a sarky comment about his dictatorial management skills.
Mergim-watch: A fairly quiet Mergim week, though I noticed that he likes to relax at home in a leisure wife-beater.
Ruth-watch: She'll shovel shit in a monochrome leopard coat and not stop running for the sake of a measly lost shoe.
Why does Brett need manure? "For fertilisation purposes". Indeed, Brett's got a nose for bullshit.
Selina v Charleine: It's really quite hard to know which one is more annoying, but Selina lost me when she whined about coming "all the way here just for cheese?" Quoi?!?! 'Just' for cheese? JUST?! Who wouldn't travel to France for cheese!?!? Sweet cheesus.
Double standards: So a toy dingy is fine but a cardboard skeleton is not?! Felipe must be furious that Felipe did not get away with Felipe buying a toy version of the object when Felipe did the show last year. #justiceforFelipe
Next time: London Pet Show to see rabbits show-jumping. That's like skipping to the winners' treat already!
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