You're fired: A triple P45 frenzy!
You're fired #1: In a shock move, PM Elle wasn't even given the chance to nominate her victims before she was booted out, for failure to lift a paintbrush and excessive Dr Leah lip filler. Oh and GROSS MASSIVE TOTAL INCOMPETENCE. Even by this lot's levels...
You're fired #2: April then got sacked for being a bit snooty, and for thinking an hour of labour for three people should be priced at around the same cost as one tuna salad.
You're fired #3: And then it was Mergim's turn. Oh Mergim. The Only Way Is Mergim. He made a rousing speech about his refugee background, which did impress. But we must equally remember that during the task he created a large hole in an optician's display wall, tried to "screw in a nail", failed to paint inside the lines of a large rectangle, splattered paint over a sign he wasn't working on, described these massive fuck ups as having "messed up a lickle bit, din I, Lord Sugar?" and then still requested payment from the client.
Joseph Valente-watch: Apparently "brilliant" according to Elle - well, he did manage to do her PM job as well as all the actual handyman-ing. Also, I've just noticed that he's a latin-named plumber with a tash - so is essentially Super Mario.
What was Selina whining about this week? Being ordered by Brett, the nation's most pedantic man, to scrape used chewing gum from the floor under a million football stands. So for once she has my sympathy. Especially as it turns out they DIDN'T HAVE TO REMOVE THE GUM MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN...
Grand designs: Scott had visions of Kevin McCloud meets Monty Don - promising to entirely relandscape an ex-local authority concrete yard into the gardens of Versailles in less than a day.
Next week: Discount stores in Man-ches-taaaaaaar.
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