Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Week 1 (first posted 8 May 2013)

Whoop! Go team! Come on! Energy! All we need is an approach to motivational speaking honed in primary school assemblies and no discernible business plan! Poor Jaz. I quite liked her – mainly for not having the whole of Superdrug smeared across her face. AND she was doing it for the children. Well, to maximise profit out of the children, but still. Everyone wave her goodbye with your 'Jaz hands'. (Yes, I went there.)

As for the rest of the candidates, well no change there. Hello ‘delusion’, meet ‘incompetence’. Eyebrows continue to be a key fashion trend for the aspiring businessperson, as do clip-on hair extensions - the bigger and more acrylic the better.

Most Excruciating Moment: I did enjoy domineering Neil leaving high-five-wannabe Zeeshaan hanging (“High five?!”,“Really?”), but it was Tim 'high vis jackets' Stillwell who caused me to gnaw my hand off in embarrassed disbelief, as he interrupted Sirlordalun, post win, to let him know he'd definitely learned from the experience and was taking the criticism on board and would certainly apply the things he'd learned and would definitely do better next time and PLEASE STOP TALKING OH MY GOD. Even Welsh Alex's diagonal eyebrows went up in surprise – turns out they aren’t so firmly Vaselined in place.

Chancer of the week: the comedy foreign accent guy who promised he'd buy all the leather jackets if he got to kiss the ladeez, but had no authority whatsoever to do so and still got the kisses.

Tomorrow: Fruity beers. Bring on the lab coats! And cue boardroom arguments over who should stay because they absolutely peeled the most lychees.

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