Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Week 2 (first posted 9 May 2013)

Puppy Tim is still in trouble” - so texted my colleague Rob at 21.55, who has him in the work sweepstake. Rob’s following text (at 22.00) was an eloquent “SHIT”, which I think sums it up neatly. Say farewell to your £1, Rob. Back in the Boardroom, Rebecca had already taken on all of the girls and their attempt at launching a mass stiletto attack, so nice Tim, with his bobbing-headed over-enthusiasm, was an easy target for La Beehive. Elsewhere, Posh Alex was lucky the boys won, as “the other candidates were SWEARING and LYING in the name of making money, Lord Sugar, and that is an AFFRONT to your HONOUR” is unlikely to be a successful Boardroom defence.

Best job title: Francesca MacDuff-Varley is a ‘Dance and Entertainment Entrepreneur’. I don’t want to cast aspersions, but if you were trying to dress up ‘pole-dancer’ in CV speak...

Business fashion (for him): Alex... he's special, isn't he? When relaxing in sunny Belgium, the discerning business Welshman will always sport a black polo neck under a grey double breasted blazer, with a camel coat casually draped over the shoulders, and - important - eyebrows like this: \ /

Business fashion (for her): It's 7am, time for Luisa to answer the phone in pink polka dot, boob tube pyjamas. Seriously, BOOB TUBE PYJAMAS. Is that an actual thing?

Disappointment of the week: No-one got as drunk as Adam Corbally did on last year's wine task. Poor show. The closest we got was Luisa “talking to boys”, much to Sophie’s bitterness. Mind you, we didn’t see much of Nick Hewer, did we? It’s easy to disguise a hangover in the Boardroom if your trademark personality is already ‘highly grumpy’.

Next week: the product design task. Flåt päck fürnitüre. Lët disåstër ënsüe!

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