Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Week 4 (first posted 23 May 2013)

Ciao Uzma! Gone before we solved the mystery of her face.  Sure she was pretty awful, but I'll miss her confused trout pout and unfortunate peach lipstick. Uzma’s main skills seemed to be walking in stilt-level platforms, flicking her hair extensions and sniping.  But here's hoping her 'look good' business will flourish – I hear her foundation comes with a free trowel.

Business pun name of the week: Buffalocal, London’s finest buffalo meat and bland soup shop.  Despite Luisa’s desire to “dress the shop” with six sweet corns, Myles decided to steamroller her instructions and buy a trolley full of veg.  (Nothing says ‘decor’ like a turnip.)  That Myles also showed far and away the most promise of the lot by suggesting dried-up baked potatoes filled with cheddar shavings and tuna mush were probably not prime front of house material...  Well, it tells you all you need to know about this year’s breed.

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!!! Delicious organic farmhouse smoothies. Made of Apple Just Juice from Costcutter.

Eyebrows-watch: Despite his spontaneous willingness to dress up as scarecrow, Welsh Alex was unable to recognise some carrots. He did have a more successful turn as a hands-on milkmaid model though.

Next week: the 'mysterious objects you're not allowed to Google' task. In Dubai.  Cue an hour of ‘IF THE LOCALS DON’T UNDERSTAND YOU THE FIRST TIME JUST SAY IT AGAIN LOUDER’.

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