Wednesday, 6 November 2013

Week 10 (first posted 4 July 2013)

Ryanair to Monte Carlo for Myles, back to his job photocopying glossy booklets about knock off luxury goods. Jordan and his kikoi (“IT'S NOT A SARONG!”) were lucky to survive – especially after he wet-heave-burp-coughed all over the boardroom desk.  Awful.

Smell what sells: Woolly (*cough* polyester *cough*) hats - even in a shipping container named 'East Side Fashions'.  No word of a lie, there used to be a hat shop on the Walworth Rd called RimWorld.  Now, that's a good shop name for a hat shop.

High risk product of the week:  The ugly and ridiculous Zsa Zsa vase.  Hello madam, can I interest you in a pile of ceramic brain tubes, for a mere £199?  Jordan was adamant it would look really cool on all our desks, but I’m not sure it would survive a tidy day in my workplace - judging by my contraband Bran Flakes that our Facilities Manager threatened to banish to the kitchen.

Eyebrows-watch: it's sad we didn't get to see Kapow Brows observing the Fair Isle onsies and ironic moustaches of Shoreditch BoxPark. It would have BLOWN HIS MIND.

Next week: Interviews!!! Evil Claude is sharpening his vicious tongue - and Margaret her eyebrows - as we speak.

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