Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Week 3 (first posted 16 May 2013)

Bye bye Sophie. You couldn't design, create, sell or pitch, but you did write an essay on market research once – the one feature of the Apprentice design task which is routinely ignored in favour of whatever the largest egos wanted to make in the first place.  Cue a packing crate on wheels and a table come uncomfortable Medieval-style execution chair for the tall.

Ridiculous fancy design office of the week: the more pretentious the company, the smaller the door? I'm not sure literally crawling into work is quite what the Health and Safety Executive have in mind, but all of Shoreditch is probably competing to have the smallest entrance.  Posh Jason particularly struggled to manoeuvre through the hobbit gate, as, unlike Jordan, he is “average-sized”.

Qualifications of the week: Uzma: “I done a fashion.” (Oopsie! Don't worry dear, am sure someone can help clean it up.)  Also, seriously - what is up with her face?  Even Lord Sugar openly scoffed when she claimed to be “in the business of looking good”.

Disappointment of the week: Zeeshaan didn't get a salesgasm. Whatever Neil might have promised him.

Next week: city farm shop. Alex Eyebrows appeared to be running after farm animals in way that won't be helping debunk certain Welsh stereotypes...

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