Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Week 5 (first posted 29 May 2013)

Well, they did their best to up the tension in the boardroom, but it was clear as soon as he boomed “LOCAL KNOWLEDGE” that Zeeshaan was for the chop - sealing his fate when he chose his boardroom co-victims purely on the basis that they didn't have Kurt's twelve centimetres.  When even Lordsiralun thinks you might be a little bit sexist... well, that means YOU ARE.  Though I’d have also fired him for slicking back his hair, the seventies-style open shirt/jacket combo and (sin of all sins) wearing sunglasses indoors.  This is not the last we’ve seen of Zee, apparently.  He says he’s not sure why his name will go down in history, but it will.  Let us not underestimate the man who was Phones 4 U's Bullshitter Of The Month - before they sacked him.
 
Best Englishman abroad: Nick in a panama, extolling the virtues of “the land of the camel, the sand dune and the Burj Al Arab” versus Jason, putting on an indeterminate foreign accent to ease communication with the locals.
 
Luisa's shameless camera-mugging of the week: holding a faded rag to her enhanced bosoms and claiming it was a bikini.
 
Eyebrows-watch: “Fresh viagra? I don't need any of that. I'm from Wales.”
 
Next week: Corporate Awaydays. Bootcamp sumo wrestling in the name of increasing turnover. How could it possibly fail?

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